Back to Black
by shipships
Summary: When Santana finds out horrifying news about someone in her family how will she react? (Contains some violence and Mature topics)
1. Cold Hearted

"Hey Santana did you hear they found your dad?" Puck said. His name is Noah Puckerman, but everyone calls him Puck. And whatever he knew about my dad, he probably only heard this because his dad is in the military too.

The classroom fell silent. Everyone in Lima had heard on and off for years about my father's disappearance. When I was a kid, he had gone away to fight in Afghanistan. I remember his last words to me. He said, "Promise me you'll be good to your mother," Even though my parents were divorced and my moms remarried. "She's gonna need someone tough around while I'm gone." When my father said gone, I'd assumed he just meant for a couple of months, like he usually did.

"What'd you just say Puckerman?" I asked, a little annoyed

Puck's stupid mohawk was so hard to look at during class, I always wanna laugh when I see it.

"Puck?" I repeated.

"Oh... What?" Puck's kind of slow for a 14-year-old. (He's a year older than me because he got held back) "Oh.." he chuckled. "They found your dad!"

My immediate reaction should have been to jump up and ask a million questions.

How do you know? Where did they find him? Who found him? Were the other three guys with him, too? But most importantly I wanted to know is he coming back? But I stayed cool, I had heard this enough to last me for the rest of my life. Though I get a little more anxious every time.

Our teacher, Mr. Shuester asked me in his "trying to be cool-guy" voice. "Ms. Lopez and Mr. Puckerman, is there something you would like to share with the class?" Left to right Puck nodded.

"No, Mr Shuester, but can I leave?" I asked in a somewhat bitchy tone. Here at McKinley, to leave the classroom, you must ask "to be excused" but I don't ever do that so I already knew he was gonna say no.

"No, sir you may not. We're in the middle of a very important lesson, please cut the chit-chat and pay attention." He snarled back at me, spitting through his teeth. Whys he always so angry? This dude needs to get laid.

There is no way I could hear news like this and be able to pay attention to some boring Math problems. In the real world, who needs to know how to graph y= |x-8|+54 anyway? I sure don't. I packed up all my shit and stood up..

"Ms. Lopez, what is it now?"

Without a word I kicked over the small trashcan next to the door (Just to piss him off) and slammed the door behind me, I strolled down the long narrow hallway.


	2. Landslide

"Mami!" I couldn't get another word out. Falling to the ground, I was overjoyed.

"Santana?" Then I heard it, "Santana Maria Lopez why are you home?" Damn, She said my full name, that usually means I'm in trouble. I strolled into the living room and plopped down onto one of Donald's fancy leather couches.

"Santana, why are you home so early?" My mother asked with so much concern that it was almost startling. The look on her face didn't seem well. Her nose is red and there are puffy bags under her eyes. Because we're Hispanic, it's hard to see much emotion on my naturally olive toned skin, plus my makeup usually makes it too distracting anyway. But on my pale faced, soft skinned mother, it was very obvious; she'd been crying.

"Mom, what's wrong? Shouldn't you be happy? Didn't you hear? They found Angelo!" I called him Angelo in front of my mother, because he had been sort of an open never-gonna-close wound to her. As my mother sat down on the couch next to me, she whispered

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry..." She began to sob.

"Mom, why? It's okay! What's there to be sorry about? They found him! He's not lost anymore!" And in that second, when those last four words left my lips, that's when it hit me.

"Mom is Brittany okay?" She didn't answer, to be honest, I didn't even know if she heard me.

* * *

"Shit!" I mumbled to myself as I ran up the steps as fast as I could, stumbling a little as I reached the top. I lunged into my bedroom and slammed the door behind me.

I plopped down onto the bed and began to type in Brittany's phone number. Brittany is my best friend and girlfriend of 3 months. I've known her since I moved here, back in the 1st grade and I know for sure that I couldn't have made it through any of this stuff about my dad without her. My dad introduced us to each other on the first day of school. He held my hand and said "Look Santana that girl is waving at you, why don't you go say hi!" When I finally agreed he watched me go and waved me over to her. I was mid conversation with Brittany when I turned around to see that he was gone, I was scared to be alone in a big classroom where I didn't know anyone, but Brittany let me hold her stuffed unicorn and I felt so much better.

The phone rang twice before I heard her pick up.

"Hello?" She sounded confused.

"Oh my god, Brittany are you alright?" I asked

"Santana I'm fine." She paused, "Are you?"

Why wouldn't I be fine? My dad was finally found. He's been missing for what seemed like forever, but really it was only 3 years. Which yes, it is a very long time. But in comparison to what it could have been, I think I'm just happy it wasn't longer.

"Yeah, Why wouldn't I be?" I asked as I noticed I had previously been lost in my thoughts.

"Just... Your dad and all.." She said before my room door burst open.

"RYDER GET OUT!" I yelled as my annoying-ass step-brother walked into my room. "Britt, I'm fine. I'll call you back later okay? Love you." I said as I hung up the phone and threw it at Ryder's head.

"Listen Lopez," he said as he sat down next to me on my bed. "I'm really sorry that..." He was interrupted, not only by my mother's yelling but also by the warm aroma of fresh steak lathered in fried onions, Donald's favorite. Ryder jumped off my bed and scurried out and down the steps. Wow 11-year-old's are so immature.

* * *

It was oddly quiet, Hera, our housekeeper, must've already set the table. I usually try to come down early to help her with those kinds of things. I walked down the hallway to the kitchen. As I peered around the corner, there sat Mom, Ryder, and Donald.

Donald is my mom's new husband and Ryder's dad. They have been married for years, but I still called him "new". Donald Lynn, he's the mayor-elect for the third time running. He's never gotten remotely close to winning the election, but he says "Jesus tells me to keep trying", so that's what he does.

The usual dinner time banter had turned to an awkward silence. There was something wrong, no doubt about it. I hesitated to enter, but then I remembered what my father said, "Be strong for your mother." Upon entering, I could feel my heart sink.

"_Hey girly!_" Exclaimed Donald, as if he hadn't seen me in weeks.

"_Hey Don._" I reassured him.

Hera, walked into the room. "Good afternoon Ms. Santana." Hera whispered to me as she placed the steaming platter of steak onto our long glass dining room table.

"_Afternoon Ms. Hera, is there anything I can help with?_" I address her as Ms. Hera because I feel as if she deserves it. Hera is the only person in the house that can be honest with me. I'm sure Ryder would too, if he ever came out of his bedroom and away from his video games. But Mom's always working on her medical school applications, and Donald's always traveling and campaigning. I guess you could say the Lopez-Lynn mansion is fairly quiet.

"_No ma'am, there's nothing in need of your assistance tonight. I think it's best for you to be with your family right now_," Hera replied.

"_So little lady, how was your school day? Did you learn anything new?_" mumbled Donald as he chewed his slightly pink steak.

"_School was fine. I came home early though, 'Cause Puck told me that Angelo was coming home._"

"_He said that?_" Donald asked in her concerned voice.

"_Well, no... He said that they found him, so I figured he's coming home to be with us as soon as he can._" I said hopefully.

"_Honest to god Santana, how stupid are you?_" Ryder replied rhetorically.

"_Ryder Joseph._" Mom chimed in to stop Ryder from saying anything else.

I thought for sure my mom was gonna blow a gasket. Her reaction made me curious.

"_Ryder wait,_" I said as he was getting up from the table to skip upstairs as he usually does. He sat back down.

"_Gracias_," I whispered.

"_Ms. Regina can you please just tell Santana so I can go back to my game?_" Ryder asked, as if he cared. My mother's eyes begin to water.

"_You don't have to tell me, It's fine Mom. It's really no big deal._" I reassured her.

But honestly, there's nothing I wanted more than to know this big secret. Was it that Donald had won the election. No, that would have been all over the news. Maybe we were moving. Or maybe my mother had finally gotten accepted into the medical school of her dreams. Perhaps, Mom and Donald were getting a divorce. I hope it wasn't that, I hate seeing my mother in pain.

Donald chimed in, "_Santana, I dont really know how to tell you this, but..._"

"_But what?_" I wished he'd just get on with it.

"_You're father,_" Donald paused, "_he's not coming back._"

I felt my heart fall into my stomach. What did Donald mean by "not coming back?" He has to! We're his only family. Why wouldn't he want to be with us? Doesn't he miss me?I couldn't breathe. Gasping for air, I felt someone wrap their warm arms around me. It was Ryder. I never would have thought that he'd be my only comforter.

"_Breathe Santana. It's okay sis, they'll explain everything later, you should probably go upstairs right now though_." Ryder persisted. Damn, to be only 11 he was pretty mature actually.

_"Bullshit, noway I'm going up there I wanna know what the hell everyones talking about, him not coming back? that doesnt make any sense. Why isn't he coming home?_" I begged. No one answered. "_Mom! Why isn't he?_" All I could feel was an endless pressure inside my head. I can barely speak.

"_Baby, he's dead_." I heard my mom say.


End file.
